Carbon offsets — an anagram for CAFE snobs’ fort

Nudge has endorsed lapel pins with a small computer chip that calculates one’s aggregate carbon footprint minus any amount paid in carbon offsets, and displays this information publicly through color coded lights. The hope for these pins is to nudge others into thinking about and reducing their carbon footprints.

An inspired Philip Frankenfeld of Washington D.C. (inspired by the pins, that is) has composed some lyrics to an original song, “I don’t just hang ten, I wear my carbon footprint on my heart.” To be sung, he says, “incongruously or not…in the style of a Beach Boys surfer song.” We’re not sure which Beach Boys song, but we invite readers to apply their favorite Beach Boys tune.

Verse
I used to leave a large and growing carbon footprint, took some steps to nudge it—!
I’ve got a colored-coded light-up computer lapel pin that is programmed to judge it—!

To avoid shame and proclaim that my footprint is cool!
I now surf turf on this planet with my carbon footprint jewel!

I don’t just hang ten, I wear my carbon footprint on my hear- ar- ar- art—!

Now that I’ve gone public, I can stick to my carbon footprint budget—!
My pin always tells the truth of what I weigh, pay and defray and wouldn’t fudge it—!

I’m copacetic and I’m kosher and meet all menschmarks set!
I’m a Techno Citizen within norm who pays every debt!

I don’t just hang ten—, I wear my carbon footprint on my year- ar- ar- art!

Bridge
We’re all riding— this global surfboard to- ge- e- e- e- ther—!
Sunlight comes through ozone hole and greenhouse gases mount from data we’ve squirreled—!
We should all— wear a carbon footprint Shamerock as a te- e- e- e- ther—!
(Yogi Berra): “If we don’t protect the atmosphere the planet’s not long for this wor- or- or- orld—!”

Verse
Conspicuous compunction and compassion have a function and fashion to reduce our footprint’s size——-!
With your iPed blinking green or red before the world’s– scrutinizing eyes—–!

Full disclosure, moral vectoring is what it’s about!
You connect, correct, attune, atone, you let it hang out!

So don’t just hang ten—, wear your carbon footprint on your hear- ar- ar- art—-!

With one species, globe and chance we’re the herd whirled ’round the shot I’d surmise—!
We declare interdependence, private deeds impact the commons–optimize—!

It’s our responsibility to share with the rest!
We begin beguine, array souffle, bequeath the bequest!

So don’t just hang ten, you should wear your carbon footprint on your hear- ar- ar- art—!

Bridge
Whether called— Envirocardiogram or kosher cashier—!,
Or tollpipe, Lodger Ledger, Shamerock, iPed or whatever it’s clear–!
This nudging noodge— will make you keep your carbon footprint small!
Global warming is a GROWLING BALM, and also is an OL’ GAMING BRAWL!

Verse
Fossil fuels are for foolish fossils! Primo people all need to go gree– ee- ee- een—!
About your carbon footprint and its impact you now need to come clea- ea- ea- ean–!

When you’re called to account by your fellow folks
With the lapel light you’ll feel pride and shame that feedback to coax

You into not just hanging ten but wearing your carbon footprint on your hear– ar- ar- art!
So show the world your carbon footprint, you’ll be nudged to go— do your par- ar- ar- art!

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